Your grief: An opportunity to sell my wares

We really need to find a way to communicate to preachers that relentlessly selling Jesus at a non-Jesus-freak's funeral is not acceptable.

It happens far too often. When a minister Christ-markets at a wedding, I find it somewhat tolerable. At least the instigators of the wedding have apparently agreed to let their ceremony become a false statement about how Jesus is soooo important to their lives and will be right there in the bed as they consummate their marriage. It's their ceremony, and if they want to launch their marriage with a big fat lie, well, they certainly aren't the first to go that route.

(I have been to exactly one wedding where the pastor's representation of the importance of Jesus in the couple's lives resembled the actual importance of Jesus in the couple's lives. This was so remarkable that the pastor felt compelled to point out to the audience that he really wasn't bullshitting this time, like he usually does. I remember squirming as he came as close to saying "These two are actually virgins!" as he could.)

But at a funeral, where the subject of the ceremony is dead and therefore largely defenseless, the hucksterism of pastors is less tolerable. Especially if the deceased would have found the pastor's words inappropriate, it almost seems like we in the audience have an obligation to interrupt the salesman and get the ceremony on the right track. Should be we really be expected to stand by as this helpless dead person is misrepresented as a sniveling coward who is desperately trying to get in good with God at the last minute and get that ticket to heaven? Is decorum really a good enough reason to let that happen?

Hey pastors: You have a nice little scam going. Many families, who you catch at their most vulnerable and irrational, feel that they need to hire you to usher their loved ones' souls into Heaven, just in case it exists. So you get a nice bit of cash and get to make yourself the totally undeserved center of attention as you pose as an authority on the matter of death. Those of us who see through your bullshit will tolerate a little bit of hocus-pocus; we realize it's all theater. But don't push it. You may have noticed that we godless are getting more vocal lately. So we're less likely to stand by as you turn our friend's death into an infomercial for your product. Do you really want a reputation as the preacher who can't maintain order at a funeral?